Meryl Streep - How to give a Thank You Speech

We're all Oscar'd out by now, and in the leadup and the aftermath there have been plenty of tips on how to make an acceptance speech great. As usual, The Eloquent Woman has wonderful advice. My all time favourite however, is still Meryl Streep.

A quieter triumph for The King's Speech?

As well as scooping the awards and giving Australian audiences a shot of national pride, 'The King's Speech' will, I hope, be an inspiration for people who suffer from stammering.

I'm not a speech pathologist but I've coached clients with speech disfluencies. They range from a strong lisp, to stammering - but only in public, to habitually transposing sounds (replacing 'd' with 'v' or 'th' for example).

Some of these people have bravely confronted their difficulty, and some were aware of their problem, but didn't care. They did not want to change anything.

My job is to bring clarity to their communication. If a person wants to develop their professional presence, how can they can do that if they stammer, lisp, or mix up their consonants? In our culture, a a public stammer can be agony for speaker and listener alike - as Colin Firth's George VI so powerfully demonstrates (you can listen to the real Bertie here). And lisps, or an inability to say 'th' sound to us like 'baby talk'.

To be serious about sounding professional, mature, intelligent, capable, I believe these disfluencies need to be reduced or overcome. I refer people to a speech pathologist if they agree to it. I hope that Geoffrey Rush's Lionel Logue will mean more people feel comfortable getting the help they need.

What do you think?

Pick me ! or How to Survive and Succeed at a Job Interview

I know someone who is waiting to hear if she’s landed the job-of-a-lifetime. She’s been interviewed, and thinks it didn’t go so well. She’s telling herself she messed up because she didn’t prepare properly. She’s a highly competent woman – internationally renowned, so expert she’s even addressed the United Nations. So why does a job interview cast her adrift in a sea of self-doubt?

For most of us an interview feels a bit like doing an exam. We’re being judged. Are we worthy? Our inner 8 year old is crying ‘pick me, pick me-e-e’. The fear of rejection can be profound. And no wonder. A lot hangs on the outcome - the stakes are really high.

Like any speaking situation the key to success is preparation. Answering questions is always easier when you have foreseen them and know what you want to convey. Work out your key messages for the interview and incorporate them into your answers.

Start with the audience. Do everything you can to find out about their priorities, concerns, interests etc. What is driving their decision? Where are they up to in their selection process?

When you make a major purchase like a house or a car, or new IT, you consider alternatives, choose one, get a good deal - and finally, you settle the loose ends like after sales service and spare parts. Your prospective employer is going through the same process. Are they considering options? Narrowing the possibilities down? Finalising a ‘deal’? With this understanding you’ll be able to prepare an approach that fits. Your aim is to talk to them about their needs and how you can meet them.

You should utilise the ‘three Cs’: Credibility, Connection, and Content. Long ago Aristotle picked 'ethos, pathos and logos' as the pillars of public speaking, and they remain robust and reliable two thousand years later.

Credibility is your professional status. Devise a succinct way of explaining your experience, skills and qualifications. Ensure you have examples of what you’ve done, as these make your case compelling. You may describe the approach you’ll take to the new role.

Connection is the rapport that’s essential to strong communication. Use your personal qualities - warmth, good humour, personal presence, clear voice and good eye contact. Also demonstrate your knowledge and appreciation of them, what they do, what they value, what they want. Be sincere and enthusiastic about this opportunity. There’s no limit to how much praise a person can take.

Content is the informative bit, the facts and the logic of what you say. It relates closely to credibility. Professional communication needs you to make sound points, explain them and support them with evidence and examples that prove the point. If you like acronyms, try PRE: Point, Reason, Example, to give your answers a structure.

You may use a ‘leave behind’ such as a portfolio of work to add more substance to your interview.

When you answer questions, don't feel like it's the third degree. There's often no 'right' answer. It’s alright to take a minute to prepare mentally. A well structured response can begin with a reflection eg ‘So we’re talking about….’ Or ‘yes that’s a major issue, I understand your interest in it….’ It gives you a minute to think about your PRE response.

A job interview is a pitch. It must be persuasive and therefore it needs an underlying argument. Don’t make the mistake of telling them everything there is to tell. You need a story, so cherry-pick. Serve up what’s relevant and meaningful and tasty for them.

A classic structure for persuasive speaking is Monroe’s Motivated Sequence. You can easily adapt its five steps to suit a job interview. Here’s the outline.

1. Attention getter: You need to hook them in. Impress them and establish rapport – you can do whatever is socially appropriate eg a warm greeting, saying something profound or insightful, or expressing your enthusiasm or pleasure and being called to this meeting.
2. Explain the need: Show your knowledge and understanding of their situation. Politely emphasise the harm that’s being done and the fact that it won’t get better without (your) intervention. ‘I understand you have a problem/need help. Here’s how I see it. It’s pretty significant and there’s damage/harm being done unless you fix it’.
3. Satisfy the need/solve the problem: ‘I have a solution (eg employ me, give me the scholarship etc). My solution is better than anyone else’s because I alone offer ….can do…...have experience of …..’
4. Visualise the change: Paint a picture of the new order…‘With me in the role, this is what will happen…. Or, if we don't implement my solution, this is what will happen’.
5. Action: State the next steps for them to take and what you’ll be able to do immediately in response. ‘If you decide to engage me in the next week, by May we can be…..’.

Incorporating all these elements in your interview makes it powerful, especially if you can do it in the sequence just outlined.

Finally, give them the chance to air their concerns. It's a disarming move but can be decisive. It shows you understand their process, and gives them an opening to raise things they may have been reticent about. Better to have everything on the table than lying hidden and unaddressed. Ask 'What's on your mind, what concerns do you have, now that we've spoken about these issues?' If you've planned ahead you'll be expecting the sorts of things that come up, and it gives you a chance to allay any fears and reassure them.

Words that Work in a Crisis

Today we saw two very different leaders - one local one world. Each is dealing with shocking and distressing events. Each does it brilliantly. Obama is working from a beautiful, statesmanlike script. The grief and the loss of those in Arizona are woven into stories of those who died (which give comfort)and the meaning of these killings for America (which provokes thought). His delivery is melodious, compelling. His demeanor is serious, sincere.

Anna Bligh is exhausted after days of disaster. Her announcements are factual, but her emotions are on view. Her delivery is natural. She's a real woman - she could be your Mum or the School Principal. She too is distressed, but she's the person in charge and she does what she encourages others to do - keep on going. 'This weather may break our hearts but it will not break our will...we can pull through this'. And somehow, you believe her.

Help! I have to be in a debate!

This clip shows PM Kevin Rudd trouncing his opposition leader Tony Abbott in a debate last May. K Rudd has now been ousted as Prime Minister but we don't know yet if Mr Abbott will be the winner. The commentary provides interesting insights into what works with an audience (and what doesn't). Given their recent role reversals, debaters everywhere might do well to watch and take notes.

In Part 1 of this post about debating and it's rising popularity as a format, I went through the basic game plan. Now we're onto the execution stage.

Process

Apart from Prime Ministers' and Presidential debates, debating is a team activity. The issues that apply to preparing group presentations are in play.

Decide who speaks first. That person should put forward the thesis or key message and expand on one or two of the most important ideas. The second and third speakers (if you have that many) must argue against the opposition, make a few more points and conclude your case.

Preparing will make a huge difference (duh). Talk to each other in advance and make the debate a story that you ‘co-present’. It has to make sense between you, i.e it's a double act, or a triple act - not discrete unconnected presentations. They must link. This is not usually done well in public debates so if you can pull it off it will work well.

Allow time to prepare properly. People usually underestimate how long it takes to figure out what to say and to co-ordinate the presentation with your team mates.


Being 'on'

In a previous post I've provided a rundown on handling lights, mikes and lecterns. Acting with aplomb as you step up and speak will work wonders with your audience. Remember to eyeball them, and to SMILE. Don't talk to your opponents (you're never going to convince them). Keep all your magnetism for the audience.

DO listen to the opposition - it's much more amusing to really get some crossfire going but it means throwing away the script and thinking on your feet.

Keep to time, it is really important.

Remember there will be tweeting and sms-ing going on around you. It's spooky because you can't know what they're saying, but you are the subject. There are many useful articles in the blogoshpere about handling this, but at least one action you can take to keep a feeling of inclusion and shared experience alive, is to make some reference to it. Like a teacher who knows there are notes being passed in class but doesn't know who is doing it, say something about the e-conversation, that way at least they'll know you understand them.

And finally - on all but the most sombre topics - leave 'em laughing.

How to make a persuasive speech

I've talked in a previous post about the terrible tendency to TMI (too much information) which afflicts many speakers. Each new workshop I do reminds me how prevalent this tendency is. Just about all speakers want to be able to speak in a way that leads people to change their minds and hearts, but what they come out with is facts facts and more facts.

Information reveals and clarifies options. Persuasion is about choosing among options. To be persuasive you have to convince and influence people – shape their idea of what they need and how you can give it to them.

There is a simple, widely used sequence of steps for persuading developed by John Monroe in the 1930s. Called ‘Monroe's Motivated Sequence ’ the steps are to be found in almost all books and courses about persuasion and the art of selling – whether it’s ‘selling’ ideas, products, policies or politics.

These five elements need to be included in a persuasive speech.

1. Attention-getter
Attention-grabbing arouses interest. In an oral presentation or conversation you can use a story, example, statistic, quotations, etc.

2. State the need – generate awareness
Show that a problem exists, that it is significant, and that it won't go away by itself. You need to demonstrate the harm that is occurring. Here is where facts - used judiciously - are important. Use statistics, examples, etc. Convince your audience that there is a need for action to be taken.

3. Satisfaction – provide a solution
Provide specific and viable solutions that they can implement. Show how your solution solves their problem. Promise them something. Match them as closely as possible to the harms you identified earlier. Try to preempt any objections before they are raised. Make it detailed and specific.

4. Visualize the change – see the benefits
Explain what will happen if your solution is implemented. Review the harm to show the consequences if it does not take place. This gives a sense of urgency. You need them to see that they can’t get along without your product or service. Be detailed. Use examples and scenarios. Let them see themselves in the new dimension.

5. Action – what they should do
You now need to prompt the person into action, implementing the solution that you both now know is the right thing to do. Tell them what action they can take personally to solve the problem. Show how. It needs to be relevant, immediate and doable.

Try it - it may not feel comfortable at first, but it's the way to build support for your cause.

Help! I have to be in a debate!

Part 1

Since JFK and Nixon got it started, TV debates are a political reality. They’re now featuring more and more in public and corporate life.

I’m a dedicated believer in debating as a life skill, and I am thrilled to see it happening so much, but if you’re over 35 (especially if you’re female) you may have shunned school debating in favour of sport. When your CEO, or the head of your industry association asks you to debate at the corporate retreat, or the next big conference, it might be your first time. So what are you going to do? This cry for help is a message I’ve received a few times lately.

Here is the first of two posts to get you started.

How the game is played

Just settle in and bear with me - it's not as complex as it sounds. It's basically a series of speeches where the Pro alternates with the Con.

The 1st speaker for the affirmative (sometimes called the government) opens with a speech. They are followed by the 1st negative (opposition), who is in turn rebutted by 2nd affirmative who is rebutted by 2nd negative, the 3rd speakers (if there are any) repeat this process and the final speaker summarises the debate overall.

Each speaker (except 1st Affirmative) should spend about one third of the speech refuting the person who spoke before them. The rest of the time is for putting forward your own case.


Once you know how debating works, my advice is to think about three things: content, process and being 'on'.

Content: Unless you’re a political candidate, in a public debate you are usually meant to be amusing yet also to make a point. So first figure out your main thesis or key message. Select themes on the basis of what your audience will be interested in.

Depending on time you can make up to three points - not more. People can't retain much – a few points will be plenty. The extent to which you elaborate on each point is at your discretion – you can be brief or go in-depth depending on whether you have ten minutes to fill or two.

Like any speech you need some good facts and information, and a conviction or point of view. It may sound obvious but you need to have something to say.

You need an arresting opening. Try telling them something they don't know - statistics and 'hey martha!' style tidbits are very impressive and will shock people into paying attention.

Use ‘PRE’ as a structure, that’s Point Reason Example. You make a point, give some reasons for it and discuss it, then exemplify it. Examples will really tell the story. People love them, so have plenty.

To attack your opposition takes skill - you have to listen and think on your feet. However, usually you can predict at least some of what they will say, so ‘pre-cook’ your arguments ahead of time and keep them up your sleeve, ready if needed.

Open your speech with a summary of what the previous speaker said but from an angle that shows they are wrong. Point our the flaws and the fallacies, and the awful consequences of what they want to do. The extent to which you are witty, or ridicule or make fun of them is entirely up to you, depending on the nature of the occasion.


In my next post I'll talk about how to get yourself and your team mates organised, and how to handle yourself up front or on stage.